


The Way Is Long (But You Can Make It Easy On Me)

by BuckyVu



Category: The OA (TV)
Genre: Canon Queer Character, Drug Use, Gender Dysphoria, Platonic Relationships, Slow Build, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 16:17:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12346206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuckyVu/pseuds/BuckyVu
Summary: Chronicles of Buck's life before, during and after the events of season one.(Will be updating as the series continue)(Minor BuckxFrench)





	The Way Is Long (But You Can Make It Easy On Me)

Buck stood outside of Crestwood High. The warm humming in his throat wouldn't stop, he was too excited. It was official, he was now apart of the Crestwood High School choir. The first practice was amazing. He thought auditioning would've been the hardest part but it was the waiting that drove him crazy. The choir rarely turned anyone down but the fact that he was allowed to stand on the boy's side without complaint lifted a huge barrier between him and what he really wanted his High School life to be like. 

It was early September and he had just finished his first month as a freshman. He knew where to sit during lunch, where the library was and he had found a safe haven in the semi-abandoned janitor's closet. It was where he first injected the testosterone he had bought off the deep web and had delivered in discreet packages. He lied and said it was for a monthly subscription to a comic book. A really thick comic book. God forbid his parents find him doing it at home where his dad would no doubt find the thrown away needles or even scarier, his mom who had a severe phobia of such items. Mr. Vu was always the one to take his son to the doctor for checkups and flu shots. The doses were small and infrequent but he swore after he took them his often leaky tear ducts had been replaced with spaghetti noodles. And it was always fun to "come out of the closet". Afterwards. Puns were always a good coping mechanism.

The sheets of lyrics that had been handed out carried a few familiar lyrics and tunes, Hey Jude by The Beatles, The Mother We Share by CHVRCHES, Like Heaven by The Cure and his personal favorite; Better Man by Pearl Jam. He had not heard it prior until the day the leader had emailed them all of the planned song for the first couple of semesters. The strumming at the beginning, the synth in the first chorus, the way the tempo changed at the two minute mark... it was beautiful. He had learnt the basic melody on his parent's old piano before he had even come into the first practice in the hopes that maybe there would a stray keyboard somewhere in the auditorium. Alas, there wasn't but it didn't matter as much because he got to stand on the "boy side" and he had finally found the place to inject. 

He finally saw his mom's black Camry pull into the drop off spot and he dashed over and slid into the passenger seat.

"How was your day, baby?"

My mind is on fire and so is my throat. You have no idea.

"It was good...I think." He muttered looking down at his hands.

"That's my good girl." Mrs. Vu leant over and kissed her son on the forehead.

*********************************************************************************************************

Buck spent most week nights hunched over under his covers with a flashlight and a few comic books he had borrowed from the library. Homework was so to be rushed but not necessarily done poorly. Buck was still getting straight B's to the slight chagrin of his parents. No wonder they wanted him to be more like Christine Yee. Christine was a year old and were both on the swim team together. She was tall with long, shiny dark hair, few inhibitions and the long term career goal of becoming a biologist. She had everything Buck didn't. Maybe his parents would stop comparing if he finally just came out to them

Buck's reading session had been cut short as he heard a sudden crash and bark coming from outside. He shuddered at the thought of a hurt dog (or coyote or wolf) threw his comforter over his head and raced to his window. He peered out and sighed internally. It was just a boy. And his dog. And his big dog.

"The more to love." Buck mumbled. Admiring its soft tan markings and shiny coat. There wasn't a number big enough to describe the amount of times he had asked his parents for a dog. 

He turned back to his bed where the flashlight he had left under his floral sheets casted a pink tinted shadow. He smirked then pulled it out and cast it to the Radio Head poster behind his dresser mirror. He remembered his mom telling him stories about how flashlights killed the invisible monsters that made the floor creak and the trees tap against window sills. The room was dark. The light was powerful. All things evil and invisible would have to fight him and the flashlight, he wielded like a sword. He remembered sleepovers, him and his friends taking turns telling ghost stories, holding the flashlight under their chins casting the light upwards and leaving shadows of yellow and black on their faces. 

Turning the flashlight off, Buck walked over to his mirror in the pitch darkness. He hesitated before whispering an almost inaudible "boo" to himself when he switched it back on. The light cast familiar shadows but it felt strange. His face looked so soft so...girly. Babyish. Feminine. The flashlight slipped out of his hand and hit the ground with a clatter as he backed away. He almost tripped over his messenger bag as he reached for the light switch. He turned it to a dim setting and glared at the mirror. The lights hadn't really solved anything. The bangs of his pixie cut covered one eye and left the other wide and fearful. Looking down at his desk, he saw his roll of scotch tape. He was about to bite of the strip with his teeth when he realized he had nothing to stick to his reflection. He dug through his drawer and he spotted a couple of drawings. A picture of a skateboarder he had printed out for a school project about The X-Games. A male swimmer mid-dive and another underwater. He layered all of them, one after the other until he couldn't see a single trace of himself. Only who he wished he was.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm probably going to continue but I want honest opinions on how it was and such.


End file.
